I just got home from my Intro. to Judaism class. For those of you unaware, I converted to Judaism at about the same time I initially began transition (leading my Jewish friends to comment…what being transgendered isn’t enough of a burden for you?). Anyway, I am retaking the class, just for fun (yes, I do have a weird idea of what constitutes “fun.).

Today’s session was on antisemitism and the shoah (what others refer to as the Holocaust). The portion of the class that hit me as being transgendered is a small piece of research done on survivors.

The research, done by William Kelmreich and entitled Against All Odds, looked at what characteristics survivors shared. They were:

1. Flexibility – as evidenced in the rebuilding and reshaping of their lives after the Shoah.
2. Assertiveness – Survivors are not afraid to tackle new challenges. They feel that they will find ways to get things done. They are not easily discourages by obstacles.
3. Tenacity – Survivors do not readily accept no for an answer.
4. Optimism – Survivors see the glass as half full rather than as half empty. When problems arise, they take the view that things can always be worse.
5. Common sense or “street smarts” – Survivors have the ability to make a quick analysis of a situation and act on this analysis.
6. Moral courage – Survivors derive inner strength from the experience and knowledge of their survival. They have a sense that if they survived the Shoah, they can survive anything. They demonstrate courage in dealing with crisis situations.
7. Defense mechanisms – which consists in the ability to distance themselves from the horrors they experienced, yet they take comfort in bonding with other survivors.
8. Existential urge – Survivors have a strong need to find meaning whether this be in family, work, or religion.

Now, I’m not comparing the horror of the Shoah with being a transsexual, but I do submit that the characteristics are helpful to the transsexual during and after transition. Specifically:

• Having a degree of flexibility to what happens and that we may need to rebuild our lives after transition…either because of losses of family members, our careers, or whatever.
• We also need “selective” assertiveness. We don’t have to necessarily be militant about everything, but we do need to get things done and to not be easily discouraged by obstacles that will be put in our way.
• Being tenacious is a must. Picking oneself up after being ridiculed or fired, or read. Get up and try again and again.
• Being optimistic can help keep us going…even when everything in our lives seems to be going wrong. Believing there is a better future and that we can make it.
• Having “street smarts” can keep us from making huge mistakes and keep us safer. For instance, I’d never go out with a guy I just met at a club.
• Having the moral courage to understand that if we can make it through being transgendered, the rest of life isn’t going to be that hard. After all, if you’ve struggled through transition, with all it entails, why can’t you do just about anything you want. (oh, I’ll never win the U. S. Women’s Open, but you get it).
• Possessing defense mechanisms, such as using humor, can help. As an example, before fully transitioning, a friend from synagogue wanted to meet me for lunch during the week. I told her that was fine, as long as she knew who she was going to be meeting! The ability to not take everything as a personal affront can help…and humor is great…to an extent.
• Finally, finding meaning in life can be helpful. While I may wonder why I’ve experienced what I’ve experienced in life, I make a strong effort to connect with family (those who wish to be a part of my life) and my synagogue.

Anyway, again, just the thoughts of a nutty transsexual.