I went to the salon tonight to get my hair done. This is one of the few treats I give myself…going to the best (and a very expensive for Rockford) hair stylist. It is like an “evening out” for me to spend money on myself. For the past decade, it has been a place of safety for me…a place where I could be myself. Sure, there would be a pronoun slip every once in a while, but I would know it wasn’t intentional or malicious.
That changed six weeks ago. They called to reschedule an appointment. No problem, they left a message, I called back. The woman who answered was new, I explained that my name was Tina and that I was calling back about rescheduling an appointment. She called me “he” several times during the conversation. I tried to gently correct her the first two times, but by the fourth time I got frustrated and just told her to have someone more caring call me back
I know that probably wasn’t the kindest thing to do, but it is hurtful when people continue to do things that are demeaning. Okay, fast forward to tonight. I was looking forward to dropping a couple hundred dollars, getting some highlights. I really don’t need or want highlights, but my stylist thought it would be nice, and I’m fine with whatever she wants.
I should say that I need some more electrolysis, so I am letting some hair grow out on my face for that. Since I considered this a “safe” place, I didn’t cancel the appointment. When I got there, the stylist announced that there was a young woman (I had never met her) who was shadowing her. I should have just cancelled the appointment at that point. I knew I looked bad, and I didn’t need to have a stranger peering at me and making me feel like a freak.
I tried to tell the stylist that in a gentle way, but her attitude was “it is my salon, I’ll do what I want.” The woman stayed, and I continued to get more and more uncomfortable. At the end, I told my stylist how I felt…she basically didn’t care.
I’m probably out of line here. I thought this person was my friend and would understand that I’m vulnerable when I’m getting ready for a zapping session, so perhaps that isn’t the right time to have a stranger there…the bottom line is that I may have lost a stylist, her a customer. I feel very sad about that.